I suggest you bring a date
by fights
Summary: There was only one person mad enough to crash Superman’s wedding and another man mad enough to love him. Lex Luthor x Superman/Clark Kent, Spiderman, Bruce Wayne/Batman x Joker, Ironman. Implied mpreg.


**Title:** _** "I suggest you bring a date"**_ [**complete**]  
**Author:** Ol' Fighty (Fights)  
**Prompt:** "Crossovers." Batman (BB+DK) / Justice League / Superman / Spiderman / Iron Man for Batman & Joker LJ Community  
**Word count:** 2135 words  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own Marvel or DC characters... And do not own Ironman.  
**Rating:** PG 15  
**Warnings:** Being mean to Jimmy, mentions of mpreg because I am a terrible person who loves to torture my reader.  
**Summary:** _There was only one person mad enough to crash Superman's wedding and another man mad enough to love him._ Lex Luthor x Superman, Spiderman, Bruce Wayne x Joker, Ironman

* * *

It was the happiest day of Superman's life, and it was his job to exploit it.

Always the reporter, Peter Parker smiled, never the bride.

The Daily Bugle's photographer and the Daily Planet's photographer elbows butted and wrestled for dominance and best photo ops (although the wedding photographer seemed to ruin the heated argument with his constant shuffling and awkward pausing).

Peter Parker tried to ignore the odd shuffling sporadic camera angles of the Question and out art Jimmy Olson who fiddled with his second camera with an intense look on his face. [**1**]

The pews were full of superheroes, politicians, several civilians lucky to be invited, anyone who viewed themselves a "good guy." The wedding guest's moods united, as if to shine as bright as the day's mood. The warm sunlight let everyone dress lightly and the blue sky that matched Wonder Woman's Bridesmaid's dress. The wedding party that had reached the altar looked slightly comfortable, but smiled through white teeth, letting their eyes wander to seated wedding guests rather than resting their eyes on the groom in a sharp stare.

Ironic that the groom was Alexander Luthor dressed in black, looking cool and reserved. The financial emperor ignored the honest glares directed towards him--the local "Supervillain" marrying Superman --instead choosing to look down the flower path.

Parker was a big fan of the big blue Boy Scout, gay or not, and despite his odd tastes of life partners he couldn't help but respect him.

Here he was, getting married. Presenting his personal life before the presses (even though they were here for the scandal than the memory) and continuing to dare to love the unlovable. And he was a superhero, it was hard enough these days for any superhero to get and stay married these days.

Batman stepped into the room, head raised and serious. He walked down the flowering pathwith his head raised high, blue bat suit that matched Wonder Woman's blue dress. His cape was also blue, a darker shade than his suit and on his shoulder binding the cap down was a white rose corsage. Batman looked frightening, and trying to pull away from the grip his escort seemed to have on him. He would stop every three steps to outright glare at Ironman who seemed to "smile" in his shiny red and gold armour.

No one laughed.

Especially because Superman was behind the doors and he could probably hear.

Peter grit teeth was his battlefield smile, his lens closing on Luthor's whose facial muscles and eyes soften as the door creaked open to the familiar tune of "here comes to bride." The picture was captured beautifully. Even the sporadic movements of the Question did not ruin his shots.

He prepared his positioning, shoulder butting Jimmy's shot in his turn as he moved onto Superman with spider-like reflexes.

Superman face was red, which contrasted with his white roses and his white uniform. It didn't help that the Flash was heckling him from the third row, despite being chastised by the Black Canary and crushed by the Green Arrows's strong arms. It was then that Wonder Woman burst into tears and buried her face into Green Lantern's shoulder.

The ceremony Peter half-listened too, mostly because it was so... Stiff and formal.

He felt half guilty, this was history!

But still Luthorian formalities, it wasn't until Lex shut up and Superman started to talk that the Bugle's Photographer he found himself enraptured by Superman's shy stumbling and sweet words.

The way he held Lex's hand, he nodded at every syllable and was lost in his fiancé's eyes and forgot his lines much to the amusement of the crowd, jocular jeers from the Flash and lack of response from Lex.

Superman loved Lex Luthor.

"I do."

It was then that the rivalry subsided, that both photographers forgot the other and focused on Superman.

Superman was a brilliant star. His true smile even penetrating into Lex thick shell, evoking a smile as their eyes connected. His huge, goofy smile tinged bigger and tugging at Lex's stone face.

Wonder Woman and Shayera cried harder.

"If anyone has any objections," Lex cut in, startling the Priest and changing the tone of the ceremony, "please take a number and wait to be seated."

"I'll like to beeelieveee," the Joker swaggered out of a rose tower, eliciting shrieks from the normal humans. The Superheroes tensed, the Joker jokes were never bluffs and when they weren't, they just weren't funny. "I'm number one." [**2**]

He held his gloved finger up high so that others could see, while the gun dangled on another from the same hand.

"If you have kryptonite, I swear..." Lex threatened, standing in front of his soon-to-be life partner.

"Relax. See, no kryptonite." In seconds, the green hair man with curly hair scooted up to Lex so that he could whisper, loud enough for those with inhuman hearing to eavesdrop, "baby Luthor's fiiinnneee-Nah!"

Batman was already gone, but the Joker didn't even react.

Peter Parker bit his lips, catching the secret. A secret he wanted to hide like his own. How long would it take for Jimmy and the other reporters tried to decipher the Joker's words through (torn) lip-reading

"I'm not the only oneeee-witha-shotgun at this here wedding." The Joker bellowed and bathed in the sound of his own voice, nodding as he hopped along towards the door that Superman had entered from, "now... The bride looks pretty-!"

"What do you want?!" Lex bellowed.

"I just want to re-do one little part," Joker licked his lips and smacked, "Batsy! I know you're here!"

"BATS!!!" The purple suited clown spat, "Jeeves told me about your lies!"

Parker removed his flash just in case and followed the scene carefully.

Batman stepped out from behind a pillar close behind the Joker (probably attempting to ambush his eternal nemesis) and walked up to the Joker who was bouncing with glee. A mock amusement that dropped the second that he forced his hands onto Batman's blue suit, fingering the white rose corsage. His eyes, hands, body radiated with possessiveness. "We match today!" [**3**]

Batman scowled.

"Come here," the Joker said, in a rumbling tone that was both sexy and frightening.

Lex Luthor's eyes met with Batman's, who just matched his stare down to an art right before he was smooched by the Joker in front of all of his peers.

"Don't be like this, Joker." Batman's voice course and forced.

"Like what!"

"There's nothing between Iron man and I," the crowd was leaning in, "I..."

"Have commitment issues?" The Joker threw some attention towards the ambushed couple and yelled, "Really, I didn't want to do this but... You know..."

The Joker looked away guilty, and in a moment Batman moved forward, touching his face. Reconciling the feelings they had for the other in front of the crowd.

Superman, much to the crowd's surprise motioned a go ahead.

Luthor looked to Superman who seemed to be more amused than upset, he muffled his amusement as the Joker lead Batman down the path just as Ironman had previous. But this time he didn't dare fidget or fight the audience's reaction.

"Aren't you upset?" Lex asked Superman who seemed to be fighting his own amusement.

Superman smiled at his husband-to-be, "considering your multiple marriages and our numerous enemies, I think the Joker wanting to walk his significant other down the hall would be understandable."

The Joker pushed Ironman aside with a sharp jab and settled in his place as Batman returned to his place beside Shayera and Wonder Woman, who forgot their bridesmaid's roles to bother their Dark Knight about his relationship and sexuality.

"Oh," his lover shouted from his spot to not too far away from the Batman (which didn't require yelling), "Next time, you walk down the ISLEEEE with another MAN I WILL BRING YOUR BAT-KRYPTONITE! Now smile for the camera!"

Peter Park took a picture.

After all, how much did a smile from Batman cost?

-

"You don't have to feel bad," Superman pulled on Batman's arm and begged, "Please don't leave the party."

Batman shook his head and looked toward his exit. "He could have hurt everyone... And worse..."

"But he didn't," Superman supplied, "he was just jealous. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."

Batman relaxed and Superman let go.

The two let the day's events sink in the two minutes of standing in silence. Still, the party roared on. In a tent the Flash could be heard goading the Green Lantern into doing... something. The band was playing oldies, which everyone seemed to be enjoying.

"I know how you feel, if things didn't happened the way they did I wouldn't be marrying Lex Luthor. And even after, he didn't agree to marry me unless it was under his conditions and I was the bride. Besides, if I couldn't forgive you than I wouldn't be an idiot would I?"

"You just called yourself an idiot," Batman replied. Batman clenched his eyes and sighed, "and I'm an idiot too. I should have told Joker the truth instead of sneaking off and asking Ironman to fill in his place."

"It's not what I meant when I said 'I suggest you bring a date,' Batman." [**4**]

Another sigh slipped from Batman's lips, "I know, it's so complicated. We just made our lives complicated, didn't we?"

Superman paused.

"You know, one day, you're going to get married, Batman."

"Shut up KAL-EL!" [**5**]

Batman looked up at the dark corner.

"You can get off from that wall, Spiderman."

Spiderman sheepishly crawled off the dark wall and leapt onto the ground, "I just wanted to say, congratulations..."

"You look like you have something on your mind..." Batman deflected Superman's interested and incredulous brow, "I'm a veteran."

"How do you do it, Superman?" Peter Parker seemed to hesitate and "How do you find that special person--especially being a Superhero?"

Without hesitation Superman responded, "You just know. Most of it is just luck and location."

"Really?"

"Yeah, anyways, since you're in town you should make the most of it! You might meet someone." Superman made a sharp turn of the heel and faced his old friend. "Batman, I need you to entertain some guests while I spend some time with Lex. We were going to hold off on announcing it, but someone had to tell the biggest mouth in Gotham."

Superman snickered to himself, "oh wait, that was clever. So, I need to go to the back. Lex started throwing up again..."

"Lex?" Spiderman asked. Wasn't Superman the... "Oh woah..."

"Superman HAD to marry Lex Luthor. After all, how were we going to explain when the baby starts showing and prove the child is legitimate? Superman is an alien!" He announced as if it explained everything, but even Batman looked confused. Before Spiderman could get Superman to divulge more, the alien was gone.

"Batsy-darling!" Came a familiar falsetto, Spider and Batman turned to see the Joker's pulled up leg dangling out from a doorway. His legs were incredibly smooth. "I'm waiting! Introduce me to some of your friends."

Batman nodded a firm goodbye before rushing towards his mischievous lover, who only giggled as Batman pulled his purple pant leg down. Soon a trail of laughter faded away into nothing.

Spiderman was once again alone.

He was here, wasn't he? The venue was beautiful; he was surrounded by his peers... Could he want more? Spiderman quickly removed his costume behind a wall and a bush, being Spiderman was nice but he really wanted to be himself. The press had thinned out, only the strong few remaining. Perhaps he would bump into Jimmy again and grief the other photographer until he felt satisfied.

"Woah, I didn't see you there!" A familiar magazine face shouted when Spiderman had stepped into the world as Peter Parker, the man pressed his hand against his chest. He looked to be running, his clothes in a disarray and face flushed. "I am certainly not hiding from anyone. No, forget that. Hide me."

"Uh..." The man clutched onto him, of all of the people, super or not, the mad man had to latch onto him.

"Oh, sorry..." The frazzled man pulled on his shirt trying to look presentable when he wasn't. "I must be freaking you out, I'm freaking out..." [**6**]

"It's all right," Peter's eyebrow twitched, perhaps danger and having his life in danger made him immune to the fear of imminent danger... Or perhaps he was just... "I've had a long day too, you wanna hit a bar?"

"I would love a bar," the man gasped.

"Name's Peter Parker."

"Tony Stark."

[**The End**]

* * *

Notes:  
This is a prime example of "I write what I please."

It was a runaway fic, which started as "Superman and Lex Luthor get married,' which soon became "Batman is a Maid of Honour" which ended up as, "Joker crashes the wedding," and the "Peter Parker is an asshole to Jimmy" and then concluded with "Peter Parker and Tony Stark..." Whatever that means. Renewing the horrible pulp-fiction storytelling methods for 2009, nah, but really I'm just sad because my old computer is being put down. I needed to write something fluffy.

**Footnotes:**  
[1] DRY JIMMY! SUPERMAN DIDN'T ASK YOU TO BE HIS WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHER! It's "let's be mean to Jimmy day." I can see Peter trying to duke it out with Jimmy for photography real estate. Also, I have written to many fanfics where Superman is involved, nothing (bad) happens to Jimmy.  
[2] LOL I chose TDK Batman and Joker, why, BECAUSE I CAN! Nah... I'm saving a BTAS fic for laters...  
[3] I realized after that this would be an insane coupling. That awesome Kevlar suit in baby blue and navy cape is love. 3  
[4] I used to crash wedding dressed funny or bring a strange date along, good times.  
[5] LOL "No, you're a dork!"  
[6] I don't even know if these two have ever met, have they?


End file.
